5 Signs You've Suffered Narcissistic Abuse


How to spot & overcome narcissistic abuse: Narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula shares the 5 signs you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse.


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  1. Have you had a relationship with a narcissist? Whether it's with a spouse, friend, mother, father, sibling, boss, or even a coworker, spotting the signs of narcissistic abuse will help you improve all areas of your life.
    Access full, exclusive mental health series featuring Dr. Ramani HERE: https://medcr.cl/kco

  2. My supervisor . Even before relocating for the position , there were little tells. Mini-criticisms over small details like the way emails were ended, self doubt crept in over small things I had done all my life at work. Odd confusion over move details, but the person was unbelievably funny and charming.
    Once I got to the job , it was non stop discards, dismissiveness, hyper controlling, never felt comfortable in their presence, all clocked in cool charm . I did not know the term “flying monkeys” , but every encounter left me confused and my work seemed to go wrong for reasons I could not quite put my finger on. The unit was a remote team of 10 people , so all the corporate office saw was the telephone and email charm and the outward performance of the division.
    I spiraled into isolation and shame on top of the location remoteness .
    Four years into position , the person has left , but I am a shell of a person , even after trying to get outside help . Another surviving coworker is a complete mess and can’t believe their are not more professionals skilled at assisting in this. I will never be the same and am still trying to find my way.

  3. I think trust in a relationship is overrated. When my husband started getting frequent night calls, i would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant. At a time i could take no more of his lies, i decided i deserve to know what was going on. A friend of mine referred me to this great ethical hacking team( Cyberhackingsage@gmail ) who helped clone his cellphone without having to touch the device. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity and how he planned on using this pandemic to get back to me. I got access to his Facebook, iMessage, GPS location, WhatsApp, Call Logs and Text Messages (both deleted and incoming ones) with a remote link to a programmed App on my phone. I’m here in Florida and able to access my husband’s phone…even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. If you need help or that little bit of closure, i advice you get in touch with them Via Gmail ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text and WhatsApp them on +15713758467…thank me later.

  4. Crazy question, I wonder if anyone else has had this experience. My wife, whom I believe is a narcissist, her father also is one for sure. After she visits him, she is much worse. It's like she get energized to be more of a narcissistic after a visit. I've noticed this for year's.

  5. I worked for a narcissist for fifteen years. I didn't have to deal with him very often, just worked independently. I just treated him like a three year old and he was fine. He was universally hated. When I started the job he had about 20 employees and I was the last one after only a few years.

  6. My mother was a narcissist and sadly I married a narcissist at age 22. We were together for 27 years, married 22 before I left him. I never knew I was married to a narcissist or that my mother was one until I went to counseling after my divorce. He’s still taunting me and tries to keep my adult children away from me with his victimhood and lies. Thank God I am free of him on a daily basis and have true love and happiness with a wonderful man who I deeply love. My narcissistic ex husband paralyzed me emotionally and physically. It was the worst marriage and a nightmare for my poor kids.

  7. I have suffered Narc abuse from my significant other and still in the relationship called Marriage. Financial control, verbal, emotional and physical abuse all part of my daily life. Things spiral out of control for the silliest of things and it’s entirely my responsibility to keep it going sane and take the blame.

  8. My mother is a narcissist, a family friend/mentor I recently cut ties with is a narcissist, my last relationship was with a narcissist, and another abusive relationship before that was a narcissist. Finally realized the pattern!

  9. I have experienced narcissistic relationships several times. Until I got in to PTSD therapy, I had NO idea what it is, and how I kept ending up in these kinds of relationships. It began with my mother (mild on the spectrum but enough to influence my choices in life), then boyfriends, then husband(s). The last husband landed me in PTSD therapy and I FINALLY had a name for what was happening in my life, what i was attracted to, what is attracted to me, how to change my belief systems, thinking, and life. It has been an incredible experience and, although it almost (literally) cost me my health and mind, I feel hope and resolution that I will have a better life and the best is yet to come. Somedays are still tough. I catch myself hearing the negative things and outright lies I was told. My experience was, as I got older and had relationships with this type of personality, the more malignant the narcissist in my life was. My last marriage was a nightmare. There was very little "covert" abuse going on, other than the image control he exerted in public. In private, he was extremely psychologically, financially and emotionally abusive. And one of his family members participated in the abuse too. Now that I am away from him (and them), I think about a lot of the things he would call me, tell me, and I KNOW they are lies. But when I was with him, it was like a dream (nightmare). It truly is like sniffing gas, it happens so seductively and before I knew it, I thought what he said about me was true. He would tell me my motives, my feelings, my flaws. The untangling of what he told me was true, and what is actually true, has been the biggest challenge of my life. He took typical human flaws and blew them so out of proportion that it screwed up my mind. I know I'm flawed and not a perfect person or wife, but he would take those things and tell me I was pretty much worthless and lucky to be with him. His family has supported his delusion and behaviors throughout his life. He was an ace at lovebombing and I didn't know all of his history until after we married. Once he knew I was committed, his true self emerged. As I have done the "forensics" on this last relationship, I have begun to see where I set myself up for these types of relationships. I am no longer a victim and it is freeing to know that I finally have the answer to how I have ended up in destructive situations and relationships. Most people don't understand how someone can stay with a person so harmful. That's because they haven't experienced or understand what it's like to be like the "frog in the pot of water, turned slowly to boiling". It happens so quietly (at first) and then your mind has been programmed to think you really are who they say you are and that you'll be destroyed if you leave and/or they're wonderful and your crazy. I believe my faith in God, my friends, and the therapist that recognized I had PTSD and sent me to a specialist, YouTube videos of other survivors (yes, SURVIVORS) and professionals like Dr. Ramani, SAVED my life. I had to be willing to take a risk and believe in myself again, but without these people, I wouldn't have even known it was possible. One of my best friends didn't get the help she needed and she didn't make it. If you are reading this and think you may have experienced narcissistic abuse, PLEASE listen to professionals who SPECIALIZE in this area, reach out to TRUSTED friends and family, AND DON'T GIVE UP! If I have one wish for all of you, it is NEVER GIVE UP! God bless you and thank God I am here today to spread the word of recovery.

  10. My brother is a N and my son's father is as well. I haven't had contact with my brother for 2years now. Life is so much less stressful. Also I have had no contact with my son's father for 8 years but it's taken years to heal and still have more to do. I also had a boyfriend for 9 years with a man who is an N. When I left him I had no ability to do anything on my own. I had lost all sense of myself. I didn't know what I liked, believed or felt. I kept going back to him. He tried to commit suicide to keep me from leaving. It worked. I haven't dated since I left my son's father 8 years ago and one reason is fear of going through this again. Adulting is hard

  11. Yes.
    Anxiety. Worry. Self doubt.
    Confidence. Trapped. Depression. Weight loss. Chronic bowel syndrome which I recovered after 6mths.
    I felt I loved him.
    Maybe.. But not his behaviour.
    When you exit.
    They are truely cruel.
    Makes you stronger when you survive.
    Now i won't tolerate any bad behaviour.

  12. Yes. I grew up with a narcissistic mother. Lots of abuse and subsequent issues that no one understood. Later married a narcissist. Because of my upbringing, the abuse felt normal. Took many years in the marriage to understand there was nothing normal about it. And a few more years before I could get up the courage to leave. Still in the middle of a rancorous divorce over three years later. Still suffering psychological effects of the abuse.

  13. 5:05 Liked: "So why do they do this to people they say they love and care about? "5:48 "It's something that lacks the depth of intimacy that a healthy relationship has. It tends to be very instrumental in this way narcissists view relationships as conveniences…" Thanks so much for posing this short video, it answered lots of questions I've been pondering for quite sometime just to make sense of what happened to me. As I look back on things now, I realize that a narcissists view of reality in their own minds, whether it is right or wrong, is all that matters in their relationships. I am very thankful to God for learning the truth about these people and how they operate. You really need to protect yourself in every which possible way, physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially from toxic people like this!

  14. I'm sorry to say that my family of origin has narcissism as a pattern. My mother and my father, both of them, had strong narcissistic traits. So have my four siblings to various degrees. My grandfather was grandiose and not really possible to reach emotionally. My grandmother was different and the one person I could rely on as a child.
    I have had contact with two very narcissistic men as an adult. I cannot call it relationships anymore because that is not how I see it. Some of my "friends" have been narcissistic two, which has taken me decades to understand. I have experienced and witnessed narcissistic abuse in a workplace. I have also been in therapy with narcissistic therapists and met several co-workers in psychiatry with strong narcissistic traits.

    So the list is long.

    Fortunately I have also met many people that care about others.

    For me it is not an option just to go no contact with i.e. my family. Though it has been life-saving for me to do so. I have to do something more. Transcend pain? Relate on a deeper level to all people including my family. Relate on a deeper level to myself.

    I want to be as a bird. Free! I want to be as a flower under the sun connected to the earth.

    Thank you for this video.

  15. To have a mother of that sort is devastating because 100% of people are her enablers. Anything going wrong is the siblings fault. A mother. How can you say anything wrong about a Mother

  16. OMG 27 years with a malignant narc and at 67 years I have begun to suspect my mother… I had to tiptoe out of my marriage and literally walk to town to get away and start a new life. It was terrifying, but 12 years later, I am healing! Thank you, Doc for all the information!

  17. 👉 Yep. My 'soulmate'… turned out to be a narcissist.
    Between the sweetest and most idyllic times spent together, there were moments; sometimes hours at a time, and always in private, where her behaviour was simply destructive to any form of "wholesome romantic Love".
    Randomly, In the middle of the good times, she would poison 'us' with some out-of-the-blue extreme accusation or claim and then be totally unaccountable for her actions. Objections were 9:1 from her. And often about ridiculous things that really shouldn't matter. So very toxic. I just wanted stability, consistency, integrity, respect and of course… love.
    NOW, the challenge is forming a QUALITY pathway forward: That seems to be – 'Maintain boundaries' with literally EVERYone, until I find how to ultimately 'forgive' and be at peace with my version of what happened…
    I feel the key here is: "my version" – – – in the end – it's only ever always me. That (I believe) is integrity. ONLY if I get through this successfully will it be worth it. Because I'm worth the difference that could be.

  18. I have been involved with a narc husband and mother. I finally divorced the husband, but the damage continues. He alienated my 17 year old daughter. She is now 29 and has nothing to do with me, her primary parent. She is the love of my life, and I grieve for her each day. Narcissists do not care about anyone or the damage they inflict.

  19. I have been in the narcissistic relationship for 4 years when I found out about that I was trying to help him, I didn’t want to quit and trying for a long time till I couldn’t handle the abuse anymore. I had to reported him to the Police in the end because he was coming to my door and leaving things from our relationship like photos letters post cards and pictures when I put this in the rubbish been he was taking out and throw it all over drive way . He left busty letter on my friend car window screen thinking he is my new boyfriend. I was feeling watched by him all the time . Now is 18 months when I left him and I still struggle to trust and have fear of having relationship again . I have fear off be in love again that I will get hurt 😔 I think I have PTSD now and need to fight this back. My heart is broken and I feel so broken I will never forget him . I still have feelings for him but I will never go back with him to be more abused ! 😔